


What Would You Have Done?

by TheIgDemon



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 07:03:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17617739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIgDemon/pseuds/TheIgDemon
Summary: Two days after the events of Change Your Mind, Steven and Lars have a heart-to-heart on top of the hill.





	What Would You Have Done?

**What Would You Have Done?**

Steven hummed a nonsensical tune, his eyes closed, as he strummed his ukulele slowly and softly atop the hill that made up the temple; the lighthouse behind him shining its two beams of light in a nonstop rotation to help guide those who may have lost their way out on the vast expanse of ocean.

He was not lost, though. Not anymore. He had finally found the answer he had been seeking for several years- Who was he? Who was he  _supposed_  to be?

Was he Rose Quartz? Was he to live up to her name and legacy of protecting the Earth and taking her place as leader of the Crystal Gems?

Or was he Pink Diamond, a leader of Homeworld, destined to help rule gem-kind and follow in his mother's footsteps? To be a better  _diamond_  than she used to be?

For the longest time, Steven had looked up to Rose Quartz with reverence and a deep feeling of longing in his heart. His dad and the Crystal Gems often made her out to be this perfect being who could do no wrong, this serene and powerful being who could not be touched by the evils of the universe.

Oh how his world view on her came crashing down, slowly, like a crumbling skyscraper. As he learned more and more about his mysterious mother, he became less infatuated with his perfect image of her that had been built up over the years. He started distancing himself from the person he wanted her to be, and gradually stopped wanting to even be remotely like her in any way.

No, he started blaming her for all of his problems. Steven had called her a coward for running away from her problems and thrusting them on to her child.

Once he had learned that Rose had wanted him just to have him, he calmed down significantly. Everything he thought he knew was a lie was corrected and everything was right with the world for a while.

Of course the universe just loves to screw him over when things are going right. It was not long after that when he found out Rose Quartz was actually Pink Diamond, and a whole new set of issues arose. Soon he was thrust into taking  _her_  role, trying to live up to  _her_  name and status as a diamond, and his doubts came back.

Was he Steven Quartz Universe, or just another form of his mother? The thought had lingered in the back of his mind for a long time, but had come to the forefront when he started dealing with Homeworld. It did not help when he started having dreams of his mother's memories and emotions.

Thanks to White Diamond, though, he finally found his answer, even if he  _was_  close to death. When his gem reformed back into a bright, pink version of himself, and  _not_  one of his mother's forms, a planet-sized weight had been lifted off of his shoulders and a relief and happiness he had never felt before spiraled through him as he was handed over to his gem-self.

As he and his gem-self finally fused back together into just  _him_ , Steven finally had his answer to his long-awaited question.

He was not Rose Quartz, and he was not Pink Diamond. He was Steven Quartz Universe, and he could finally love himself like he always wanted to, but the doubts had kept him from doing so. Steven never had to be anyone else, and that is the way he had always wanted it.

Sighing in contentment, Steven laid his instrument next to him gently and hugged himself in happiness, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes.

The sound of quiet footsteps approaching caused Steven to turn around to see who it was. The pink skin and hair immediately gave away who it was, and Steven's heart skipped a beat.

"Lars?"

"Steven? What are you doing up here? It's almost midnight," Lars stated, a bit surprised to see the young hybrid out this late. He himself had come up to be alone, but Lars guessed that was not going to be the case now.

Steven chuckled and wiped his eyes, patting the grass beside him in a silent invite. "Didn't realize it was that late."

As he sat down, Lars furrowed his brow in concern at seeing Steven wiping his eyes.

"You alright? You look like you've been crying."

"I'm fine, I was just thinking about some things is all," Steven said, letting out a happy sigh. The small, content smile on he other boy's face convinced Lars that Steven was telling the truth.

They sat in peaceful silence for a few moments, before Steven broke the silence.

"So, how have you been settling in? I haven't gotten a chance to talk to you in a couple of days."

"Eh, it's been alright. My parents were freaking out at first, but they've calmed down, thankfully. It's been a bit weird being home after being in space for so long, ya know?" Lars answered, letting out a sigh.

"Yeah... What about the Off Colors? Have they found a place to stay?" Steven asked, rather curious.

"No, not yet, they're still looking. They want to stay around Beach City, though, so there aren't many options, but I'm sure they'll find a home somewhere." Steven gave a hum at that, hoping they  _would_  find a place to call their own. After living on Homeworld in hiding for so long, he felt they deserved it.

"And... You and Sadie...?" Steven asked, rather reluctantly. Lars let out a groan at his question and ran a hand down his face. He absentmindedly traced the scar that was over his right eye as he formulated his answer.

"I... I don't know. I really missed her, and was glad to see her, but..." Steven held his breath as Lars paused. "But... I think she and I are just too different now. Our lives, our experiences. She's practically a rock star now with her own band, and I'm just an undead retired space captain. With your magic running through me, I don't even know if I'll even age past seventeen anymore, if what you told me about Lion is true." Lars explained, feeling a bit down all of a sudden.

Steven's heart clenched hearing that. He had told Lars that Lion was probably two hundred years old or older, whereas normal lions barely lived to the age of twenty.

It meant Lars was more than likely immortal.

"I'm sorry, Lars," Steven apologized, feeling horrible about all of this.

"Sorry for what? This isn't your fault!" Lars stated, throwing his arms in the air in exasperation. Steven just now noticed that he was wearing a plain black shirt and pants rather than his captain uniform, but that did not matter at the moment.

"Yes it is! If I hadn't dragged you into my problems, then none of this would have happened to you! You wouldn't have died nor become immortal if it weren't for me!" Steven shouted. Lars growled in agitation.

"I was the one who decided to stay on that ship, you numskull! You didn't force me to do anything! Besides, I wouldn't even be alive right now if it weren't for you, even if I did turn pink and immortal. I can deal with it, Steven."

"You shouldn't have to!" Lars groaned, tired of this nonsense.

"Why are you being so irrational about this? I thought you would be more mature about all of this!"

"Because I'm in love with you, okay?!" Steven gasped and covered his mouth, eyes going wide as he turned away from Lars to hide his embarrassment. He had  _not_  meant to say that, at all.

Lars stared at Steven's back in complete shock, his mouth dropped wide open.

"Wha, what did you say?" Lars asked, rather shakily.

"Nothing!"

"No, you definitely said you were in love with me. Don't lie to me, Steven!"

Silence reigned over them for a few moments, the waves crashing against the rocks below being the only sound. Soon, Steven's shoulders started to shake and a sob broke through, causing Lars to feel immediate guilt.

"Aw geez, don't cry Steven, please. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you like that," Lars apologized, but his apology only seemed to upset the younger teen even more as he started full on sobbing. Tears came to Lars' own eyes at this point.

"Aw man, I'm such an idiot," Lars mumbled to himself and decided to pull the crying teen into his arms to comfort him. Steven stiffened at first, but soon fell against Lars' chest, his whole body heaving from his sobs.

They sat there like that until Steven's tears dried a few minutes later. He pulled back from Lars and took some deep, shuddering breaths, wiping his eyes and face of lingering tears as he did so.

"I- I'm sorry. It wasn't just you, it was the culmination of everything that has happened these past few months. That just... tipped me over, I guess," Steven explained, chuckling to himself a bit at his use of the word "culmination". Connie was definitely the culprit in that one. He always ended up using bigger words because he hung around her so much.

"Oh, I-I see. That's good, I guess," Lars said rather nervously. "But you, you...  _love_  me?"

"You were never meant to hear that, Lars..."

"Well, I did, so there's no ignoring this now!" Lars took a deep breath. "... How long?"

"How long, what?" Steven asked, mildly confused.

"How long have you, you know..."

"Oh," Steven replied, thinking, "I'm turning fifteen next week, so I guess four years, give or take." Lars nearly choked at that.

"Four  _years_?! Why haven't you ever told me?!"

"What would you have done, Lars? Think!" And Lars did just that, his brow furrowing in concentration. Before long, his face transformed into one of understanding.

"I would have mocked and laughed at you, and probably tell everyone while I made fun of you at the same time. Ugh, I was a horrible person," Lars stated, laying a hand on the side of his temple at his epiphany.

"That's why I never wanted you to find out. Even after you changed, I kept it a secret. I just wanted you to be happy, even if it wasn't with me." Lars blinked.

"Wow, even when you were the most annoying kid ever, you were still way more mature than I was," Lars said, chuckling, causing Steven to smile a bit.

They were silent again for a couple of minutes as they stared out over the ocean and into the star-dotted sky.

"I almost died on Homeworld," Steven whispered, snapping Lars out of his thoughts.

"What?!"

"White Diamond pulled my gem out of me. I could feel myself dying as Connie held me up. I kept getting weaker and weaker by the second. I felt so empty, so lost without my gem. When my gem reformed into a pink version of me, I felt this sudden...  _urge_  to get to him, and get to him fast. But I was too weak to even walk over to him. Connie ended up carrying me," Steven explained, his eyes closed; lost in the memory. Lars listened with rapt attention, horrified that Steven had almost died in such a way.

"What happened next?"

"White tried to stop him from getting to me, but failed. When I was finally handed over into the arms of my gem-self, I never felt such relief and happiness in my life until that moment. We danced together and fused back into just...  _me_. Just me." Steven gripped his gem through his shirt as he explained further.

"Why was that such a big deal to you, though?" Lars asked, scratching his head in confusion. Steven sighed at the question.

"Lars, I never knew who I truly was until that happened. It's hard to fully explain, but I didn't know if I was just another form of my mom or not. I struggled to understand if I was just my own person for a long time. To finally know the real answer was such a relief." Lars snorted, making Steven start at the noise.

"Well,  _duh_ , even  _I_  knew you weren't your mother, ya knucklehead!"

"The gems thought I was, and they started making me believe I was," Steven murmured.

"Yeah, well, they don't know  _everything_ , Steven. A kid isn't their parent, they're their own person. Even  _I_  knew that one." Steven laughed a bit at that. "Man, we went way off topic there." Steven tensed at hearing that.

"Can't we just stay off topic?"

"No! We're settling this here and now, I don't care how uncomfortable it makes you!"

"I don't want this to ruin our friendship, Lars! It's why I kept it hidden for so long. Can't you just ignore it and let it go?" Steven pleaded, looking directly into Lars' eyes.

"Absolutely not!"

"Why?!"

"Because, maybe I feel the same way, how about that?!" Lars shouted, spreading his arms wide, panting.

Steven's eyes widened in disbelief, his brain shutting down as he heard what Lars said.

"Huh?"

"You heard me!"

"Bu-but, I thought..."

"Thought what? That I still loved Sadie? I do still love her, as a  _friend_ , Steven. Like I told you earlier, me and her are just too different now for a romantic relationship to happen between us. I accepted that even before I got back to Earth. We both silently agreed that it wouldn't work, so give it up!" Steven continued to stare at Lars in shock.

"But, why me?"

"Well, I could ask you the same question! Why me?"

They both stared at one another for a while before a snicker from one of them broke the tension, causing the both of them to break out in raucous laughter. They clung to one another in a tight hug, even as their laughter died down. Lars rested his head on top of Steven's head, admiring just how soft his hair felt against his face.

"We're both ridiculous," Lars said in a quiet whisper, and Steven hummed in agreement.

"When did you, you know?" Steven asked without moving from his comfortable spot.

"Eh, somewhere around when we were taken to Homeworld, I think. I kept denying it for a while though, at least until I got back home where I belonged. But... I knew deep down that we might have had something for a long time, I just kept ignoring it because it sounded stupid and ridiculous to me," Lars explained, gently running his hand up and down Steven's back.

"Maybe... But it doesn't matter anymore. We have eternity to work everything out now."

Lars did not respond. Instead, he pulled back a bit from the hug, making Steven a bit confused. He blinked a bit when Lars tenderly cupped his face in his left hand and gave him  _those eyes_. The confusion waned as the other teen slowly leaned in, and Steven eagerly met him half way.

As their lips met for the first time, electricity seemed to travel through them as they shuddered and gasped at the sensation.

It felt  _right_. It felt  _wonderful_ , and neither wanted it to end.

Lars pulled Steven closer and tilted his head a bit, opening his mouth slightly in invitation. Steven had never kissed anyone, let alone  _French_  kissed someone, so it was a bit awkward at first, but he soon got the hang of it.

They both moaned as their tongues danced around each other, lost in the pleasure of it all. Lars' body tingled pleasantly from Steven's healing saliva, adding to the enjoyable experience.

Both teens broke apart minutes later, panting. They stared deeply into each other's eyes, love shining through as they smiled. Lars pulled the smaller boy into his lap and held him as they cuddled underneath the starry sky.

No more words were needed this night.

**END**


End file.
